Hijacking Grief

A work colleague and friend of mine learned last week that his sister in law is terminally ill with an inoperable brain tumor and has only days to live. It has been devastating for him and his family and my heart goes out to them.

During my time in the LDS Church, I was taught that tragedies such as this are an ideal time for proselyting because people in these situations are humble and teachable (i.e. emotionally vulnerable). As a believer, I would have been very conflicted in this situation. I would have been torn between religious pressure to try to convert my friend, and my own feelings that such an effort would have been intrusive, inappropriate, and potentially damaging to the friendship. I hope that I would have respected my friend's grief by not trying to convert him, even though I probably would have felt like I was letting God down by not "doing my duty."

As tragic as this situation is, I can't help feeling some measure of relief, because leaving Mormonism means that I can simply be a friend. Instead of feeling like a failure for not trying to convert my friend, I can do what normal people do: I can mourn for my friend's suffering, and be available if he needs a hand.