Dealing with death as an atheist

I had to deal with the death of close family members while I was young, so I've always been very conscious of death, and the idea of eternity with loved ones was quite appealing to me. It still is. I love the idea of living, learning, and hanging out forever. Sometimes I wish I could still believe in it. That was always the most meaningful aspect of Mormonism for me.

Because I no longer believe in god or the supernatural, I'm living life on the assumption that this is all there is. If I'm wrong, no one will be more pleased than me.

Not believing in an afterlife is a double-edged sword. On one hand, I often feel that life is meaningless and futile, and that nothing I do really matters in the long run. On the other hand, life has become infinitely more precious by virtue of how short and fragile it is.

The Mormon Church takes an apocalyptic view, that the world will get worse and worse until Christ returns, at which time everything will be sorted out and we will all live happily ever after. As a result, many mormons seem to take the attitude that global issues such as poverty, disease, and the environment don't matter, because this life is temporary and God will sort it all out. I no longer have the luxury of believing that. I am looking for ways for my life to be meaningful and have a lasting positive impact on the world. Doing what I can to relieve the suffering of my fellow humans has become more urgent to me than it ever was under Mormonism.

I believe there is no greater tragedy than a life in which relationships, and present enjoyment and happiness are sacrificed in the hope of a glorious afterlife that may or may not exist.